I’m still scared.

Trusting God seems like the most powerful thing anyone can do. Trusting God is what spirit giants do—and after all—isn’t that what we all aspire to be? Maybe you just rolled your eyes when I suggested that you would be a spiritual giant—but the point to our spiritual lives is that we become more faithful and more committed to Christ as we age. Age and maturity don’t always coincide. Faith is exercised as we believe God is for us, overcome obstacles in our lives and embrace the life Jesus died to bring us. But, there is something more impressive to me than being a spiritual giant. What captures my attention is when a Christ follower is authentic when admitting that trusting God and being scared are not contradictory to one another. They actually coexist within the believer's human heart.

Christian algorithm?

Christian lifestyle is somewhat of an algorithm. We live a certain way—we all do—whether we live in a city, suburb or out in the country. We are creatures of habit and routine. So, you will discover patterns in your life. Unless you make some serious intentional changes, you probably eat the same foods, drive the same roads and do the same things over and over again. Short patterns contribute to larger ones and they all lead to a rather large epic turn around the sun. That’s our life and familiarity is our friend. Disrupt our algorithm? Now, we've got a problem.

When we internalize that we have something to lose or when we’ve gone without…that experience leaves a lasting impression on our soul. Threaten something we value—trust, our way of life, children, finances, position in society, possessions or anything we believe we’ve earned or are entitled to—we get upset! We disregard all the faith we previously could muster and become shivering, cowering pessimists who no longer believe God is on our side. Some of us—if we are honest—get to the point where we don't believe God really exists. So, when we feel threatened and feel scared our faith diminishes and we spiral out of control. We can go through all the right motions but the have little or no results. We settle for religion when God wants a relationship. He’s wanted a real relationship with you all along.

The enemy of your soul knows this about you. He will antagonize you in the area that you’re most vulnerable. Your enemy knows what buttons to push and your vulnerabilities. What threatens you is different than anyone else. Fear grips your heart and puts your brain into a fog. You will also notice that what scares you now is not what scared you previously. Fear and faith develop over time. The monsters you face today are bigger, hairier and more intimidating than ever before. I’m pretty sure you check under the bed, open the closet when you hear a noise or walk very, very slowly as you listen for the intruder in your nice little routine-filled world. You’re normal if you experience this. But, I don’t think Jesus wants us to settle for being normal. I believe Jesus Christ commands us to develop our faith and challenges us to be spiritually mature, to grow in our discipleship and face greater monsters than ever before.

What does it mean to live without?

Zechariah and Elizabeth had lived without their entire adult lives. They lived without hearing the sounds of children playing in the yard. They lived without the experience of being a referee in a knock-down, drag-out fight between siblings. Zechariah and Elizabeth lived without someone to validate their existence or knowing who would take care of them when they were old. They were childless. The one place where this couple was most vulnerable wasn’t connected to position, wealth or health. No. The one area the enemy could threaten them the most and diminish their influence was convincing them that God withheld a baby from them. Everyone in Jerusalem knew who they were because being childless in their society meant they must’ve done something wrong and God was punishing them.

By the time we are introduced to Zechariah and Elizabeth, (Luke 1:5-25) they are aged in years which meant they had learned to deal with the trauma, disappointment and disillusionment of being childless. Their hope had died out long ago. But, an angel appeared to Zechariah while he was on duty with his priestly division. The angel spoke about a child they would conceive and who would grow up to do miraculous and meaningful things for God and the People of Israel. Fear gripped Zechariah’s heart. Think about this—why? What was being threatened in Zechariah’s life? What did Zechariah hear—yes, we know what the angel said but what did Zechariah hear?

A silent alarm went off.

Something spiritually significant happened in the holy place. Everyone in Jerusalem kibitzed about it—only old Zechariah wasn’t saying anything. Fear? Oh yes. But, why? What was being threatened? The priests and people who were praying had to come to their own conclusions because Zechariah could only make hand gestures and sign language didn’t exist then. Jerusalem would be buzzing for quite some time. They would remember this event. Zechariah went home. Elizabeth did conceive. She lived in seclusion for five months before a visitor would come to confirm that what was happening was really from God. Mary’s arrival would be a welcomed and necessary sign. Sometimes God is doing the most when we don’t see it. Our faith becomes a lens through which we see God’s activity—not only in our own lives but for the people around us. Our perspective changes when we see through the lens of faith.

Don’t be afraid. That is easy to say when you’re in the power position.

Don’t be afraid. That’s something someone else claims.

Don’t be afraid. The silent alarm discharges within all of us.

Don’t be afraid. But I’m still scared…..Which prayer did You hear?

Then an angel of the Lord appeared to him, standing at the right side of the altar of incense. When Zechariah saw him, he was gripped with fear. But, the angel said to him: “Don’t be afraid, Zechariah, your prayer has been heard.” Luke 1:11-13a

Pastor Jen