There are broken things in my life that I didn’t ask to inherit—but they were handed down to me anyway.

1. Anger. I discovered there was a lot of tragedy and heartbreak on both sides of my ancestral family tree. I come from a family of hard workers who made their way in the Northwoods of Wisconsin. There was a lot of emotional devastation along with their toughness. Henry Cloud taught me a simple truth that underneath every ‘mad’ is a sad. It took me a long time to quiet the angry voice from my ancestors to hear the voice of God and embrace the deep sadness that trickled through the generations.

2. Unreasonable expectations. Great expectations like having a good name, looking good in public and maintaining a good reputation ran strong in our family. Serious conflict within a family is always witnessed outside the family, especially with such obvious tragedy and heartbreak like divorce, murder-suicide and alcoholism. I did what I could as I was growing up to fulfill the expectations of my broken family. It was the love of Jesus Christ that taught me the unreasonable expectations of my family were actually a stumbling block to accepting who He was and my place in His Kingdom.

3. Shame. I found it easier to run away from my family problems. My father was absent and so was his father. So, no one really ever checked up on me or asked where I was. So I disappeared into showbiz. I found acclaim and acceptance in the theater. It is still a struggle for me to lead a church and preach on a weekly basis. I received applause after each song of a well known musical or as the curtain closed at every show in the theater. No one has ever giving me a standing ovation for a message I preached or as I left one appointment for the next. And that’s the difference between ‘acting’ and being real in the pulpit. I found satisfaction in knowing that Jesus didn’t get applause this side of heaven either.

I could go on about my depressing brokenness. I can make the list long with numerous items that were messed up in my world until I met Jesus. Transformation takes time and facing a lot of painful truth. I am a living breathing example of what Jesus Christ can do with a heart that is humbled and ready for his leadership. It isn’t easy. Most days I struggle with anger, unreasonable expectations and shame. I press on. I take hold of the gospel that set me free from that other life and gave me a hope for a future that would not only be filled with bright, shiny moments but powerfully redeeming love and total restoration of the entire Family Tree. I pray that you accept where you came from and the brokenness that accompanied your ancestors in their stories. I also pray for the great love of Jesus Christ to saturate your heart and make you whole. I pray that Jesus’ love is greater than your pain and that you discover your immeasurable value to him. Heaven. It’s more than an idea. It is our ultimate restoration in Christ and why Jesus went to the Cross for you, your family and for the whole world’s brokenness.

The words of the Apostle Paul were like fresh water to my soul. I pray they have power for you as well: "I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead. Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:10-14

Pastor Jen